I decided to release all my negative feelings to the Universe in the hopes that it will help me work towards acceptance. The moment I realised that the then unidentified Fibromyalgia was affecting my dancing, I started to slide down into depression. And the less I was able to dance, the more the depression deepened. I felt I had lost myself and all that made me "me".
Who am I now ? I used to be a ballet dancer. I have danced for all of my life and there is nothing in place to follow it. Whatever life's problems were, dancing was my release, my safe place. Now I am still bombarded by problems but there is nothing to stop them, no safe place to go to decompress. Dance was the TENS machine in my life. Now there is nothing.
I know I am blessed with family but even then, this Fibro butts in, I can't play with the children like I used to do. I can't even go for a walk without exhaustion coming, and pain. And talking, when you have the words swirling around in your head but can't pluck out the word you need. I feel stupid and useless. And lost.
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